Fuddland
It must be really exciting, buying a house. I’ve never done it myself, but — after all the trudging around, looking at different locations and properties — settling on the one you want more than any other, must be quite thrilling. And even before completion, any time you’re in the area, the temptation to drop by and have a look round your new home must be quite high. Perhaps even show it off to your friends and family, if they’re with you?
But, however great this urge is, please remember one thing — and, really, I’m talking to the woman buying my house, or rather, the father of the woman buying the house — it’s not your house yet, so if you want to use the toilet, you should ask the current tenant, or at the very least, put the bloody lid down in the position you found it after you’ve finished. And do you really need to look inside the wardrobes? It’s a wardrobe. You can see how big it is from the outside. The Chronicles of Narnia are fictional you moron. And opening draws? We keep stuff in them. Big surprise. Looking for ideas of what to keep in them once they’re your daughter’s, are you? How about The Big Book of Manners?
Some people are just so rude.
Comments
Kav | 2005 / 08 / 09 – 22:54
That is way out of order. For the sake of petty revenge we should make sure that all further visits are arranged via the estate agent. Especially since it isn’t him we are actually dealing with!
Ade | 2005 / 08 / 10 – 09:34
An alternative revenge would be to leave the place with some suitable evidence of recent toilet visits of your own…
David | 2005 / 08 / 10 – 09:47
Re #1: I’m all for petty revenge. Speaking of which…
Re #2: Interesting idea. Curries and chillis every day for the next two weeks!
Lyle | 2005 / 08 / 12 – 14:29
Alternatively, stick a kipper under the lagging of the hot-water tank. Nice fishy whiff…
David | 2005 / 08 / 12 – 14:31
Re #4: An excellent plan with just one minor flaw: we have no hot-water tank. :P
felicity | 2005 / 08 / 12 – 16:27
i prefer the methods of the woman who before moving out of the abode shared with her husband, stitched frozen prawns into all of the hems of the livingroom curtains, the smell didn’t occur until a week after she’d moved out and it took a futher week to find the source of the fishy odour….
Lyle | 2005 / 08 / 15 – 15:54
No hot-water tank? What kind of pikey-palace are you living in? *grin*
As felicity says, the “prawns in the lining” is a good one, as is “fish behind the radiator”.
You could, if feeling particularly malicious, go for a can of Liquid ASS (I kid ye not), or simply paint the bedroom walls with luminous paint, which is always quite a chuckle…
David | 2005 / 08 / 15 – 16:00
What kind of pikey-palace are you living in?One with hot water on demand! :P
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