Fuddland

Ask them impossibly difficult questions. Such as, “Who’s calling?”

The scene: a private number calls my mobile.

I answer.

Cold-caller

Hello, this is the mobile phone company. According to our records, you’re still with … Orange?

Me

Erm… Sorry, who’s calling?

He hangs up.

Observe his tricksy wordplay, using the phrase “the mobile phone company” to try and trip me up into thinking it’s my own company calling me; pity for him it didn’t take me more than a couple of nanoseconds to process what he said and think, “Now why would they ask if I was still with them?”

#1

Gordon | 2005 / 06 / 10 – 13:20

I have a better solution - I don’t pick up the phone if the number is withheld.

The other method I’ve had used on me is:
“Hello, is that Gordon McLean”
to which I reply
“Who’s asking?”

Then they either hang up or start stuttering through their script (whereupon I usually say a cheerful “No thanks” and hang up before they respond).

#2

David | 2005 / 06 / 10 – 13:45

Re #1: Unfortunately I have a couple of friends who sometimes call me from work, where their number is withheld, so I tend to expect it to be a familiar voice on the other end even if the number if hidden. Thankfully cold-calls to my mobile are few and far between — this might have been the first one this year, as far as I can remember.

I used to never answer my landline between the hours of 8am and 6pm simply because it was almost certain to be a cold-caller, but since I registered my number with the TPS those calls have dropped right off. Every now and then I still get those pre-recorded, “You’ve just won a holiday, press 9 to be charged £1.50 a minute for the rest of this call…”, which I keep on the line [without pressing any keys] until they end the call, in order to maximise the cost to the company. [Not sure it actually makes a difference, but I like to think that it does.]

#3

Jann | 2005 / 06 / 10 – 17:28

I was very impressed with TPS when I first signed up but after a couple of months things went back to how they were before with several cold-calls a day.

I’d say about half were those pre-recorded ones from the US which are out of any British jurisdiction but the other half were from (mostly) major British firms. I would always get the name of the caller first before asserting the fact that they ought not to be calling due to the TPS and most of them apologised profusely (some avoided answering and just hung up).

I started to keep a list of companies in order to make a comprehensive complaint but since having no phone whatsoever thanks to the ineptitude of both BT and Bulldog Broadband I have been blissfully free from the ravages of the unwanted caller.

Every cloud, eh?

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