Fuddland

At the time of writing, according to MSN UK Search (Beta), I am the second most relevant David in the world.

Let’s see if I can knock that Appleyard chappie off the top spot. Who do I have to sleep with?

[Link to horrendous Bill Gates image via Neil]

The following is an entry which follows on from the above:

1. The Most Relevant David [David Appleyard]. Excerpt: After reading this post, brought to my attention by this guy, I realise that only a few days ago, I was the most popular (and most relevant) David in the world!

#1

mrtn | 2005 / 01 / 27 – 12:32

hm, not sure about the way checking the “only results from the uk” box changes the results not at all…i know it’s only a beta, but it looks about as useful as every other ms product…

#2

David | 2005 / 01 / 27 – 12:39

Re #1: The number of results goes down from 116,805,416 to 6,986,962 — I guess the first 10 must all be from the UK. So MSN Search differs from Google in that sense: as far as I know, a basic search from google.com gives the same results as the same search from google.co.uk [which must be why you’re automatically-forwarded to your local Google site if you try to go to google.com]. Looks as though MSN has chosen to bias the results based on where you are.

#3

mrtn | 2005 / 01 / 27 – 12:45

re #2: yeah, i realised that the number of results changes. using the .com site gives completely different results for David. So I’m afraid you need to change the original post, you are alas only the second most relevant David in the UK ;)

[edited for dodgy grammar]

[Edited by commenter — 12:46]

#4

mrtn | 2005 / 01 / 27 – 12:50

this search is pretty funny though: this WMD google-bomb disappeared from the front-page of google (uk or otherwise) some time ago but is still sitting proudly in the top two slots at search.msn.co.uk - a slightly out of date view of the internet perhaps? or have google changed their algorithm since msn “borrowed” it? ;)

#5

David | 2005 / 01 / 27 – 13:53

Re #3: I’ll have to disagree with you once again. :P I chose the original wording carefully — you’ll note that I say “according to MSN Search UK (Beta)”. Although the results strongly bias UK-based Davids, some perusal of the later results shows that the .co.uk search still includes Davids from around the world. I stand by my original claim! ;)

Re #4: I’m not sure that Google needed to tweak their algorithm so much as it’s a lot more sensitive to this sort of thing. Around Christmas time, a search for “I love Jews” had the suggestion “Do you mean ‘I love Jesus’?” at the top of the results, but after a couple of days that suggestion no longer appeared. [Now the top result is a page describing that very event!]

[Edited by commenter — 14:10]

#6

Jann | 2005 / 01 / 27 – 22:51

Re: #everything.

All this still glosses over the fact that you’re clearly not as important as a sixteen year old geek from Huddersfield…

…Jesus! Have you seen the boy’s exam results?

#7

David | 2005 / 01 / 28 – 09:30

Re #6: Yeah — about average aren’t they? ;)

#8

mrtn | 2005 / 01 / 28 – 10:01

re #6,#7: heh, Religious Studies, Food Tech and ICT don’t count. and “Dual Science” is disturbingly vague too ;)

love the idea of “target grades” on a CV though, think i’ll include some of those on my own CV…

#9

mrtn | 2005 / 01 / 28 – 14:19

re most of the above: down to third now…

#10

David | 2005 / 01 / 28 – 15:09

Re #9: Fame truly is a fickle food upon a shifting plate. Back to my mundane existence…

#11

Jann | 2005 / 01 / 28 – 16:14

“fickle food upon a shifting plate”…?

Sounds like something Mr Bennet would have said on “Get stuffed” way back when…

Actually, that’s not a bad analogy of his career path.

Are you still there…hello?

#12

mrtn | 2005 / 01 / 28 – 17:39

re #11: eh? is that the mr bennett of p&p fame? “get stuffed” - i’m guessing not the cult late-night cookery programme for students! anyone else remember that? wonder if i was in fact the only person in the world who ever saw it? maybe i imagined it?

“surprise - it’s an omelette”
“but first, WASH YOUR HANDS”

and other gems. ah, happy memories.

ok, i’ll go now.

#13

David | 2005 / 01 / 28 – 18:18

Re #11 & #12: I do remember “Get Stuffed”, but the only Mr Bennett I can recall was Tony Hart’s caretaker in Take Hart. Either way, it was originally Emily Dickinson that said [or wrote], “Fame is a fickle food upon a shifting plate”.

[Edited by commenter — 18:19]

#14

mrtn | 2005 / 01 / 29 – 19:43

re the original question: you don’t need to sleep with anyone dude!

(at least at the moment)

#15

David | 2005 / 01 / 30 – 08:24

Re #14: I take it that means I was momentarily occupying the number one slot? Woo! :)

#16

Jann | 2005 / 01 / 31 – 10:09

Re #12 and #13: I did mean the Mr Bennet of Take Hart fame, latterly (about ten years ago, admittedly) of Night Shift, which I confused with Get stuffed, being as they were both awful, cheap, late-night shows sharing an audience of drug-addled twits, students, fools and insomniacs alike*…

*I freely admit to watching them as a member of more than just one of those categories.

#17

David | 2005 / 01 / 31 – 11:33

Re #16: There was something soothing about watching Night Shift, the premise of which [if I recall correctly] was Colin Bennett interviewing ordinary people whose jobs required them to work through the night. He basically had two questions: [a] “What do you do?”, and [b] “Got any funny anecdotes?” The programme was a nice contrast to the frenetic pace of Get Stuffed. I think the only reason I watched both of those shows was that they were on around the same time as the NBA basketball, i.e. ridiculously late at night on ITV — back when I was still trying to convince myself that I must be able to get obsessive about at least one sport.

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